Home Away From Home

207.

That's how many days I've been in the USA. 207 days. In some ways it doesn't feel like that long. How can I have been here for 207 days? Is that possible. Then I realize that I have 500 left to go... 500. That's how many days I have before I can return home.

Those are numbers that I can calculate easily. The unanswered question is this... how many days will it be until the USA is home? When will my mind change over? In fact, when will I know where my home IS?


"Home is not where you live but where they understand you."
- Christian Morgenstern

So where is this home Mr. Morgenstern? Where will I find this? Because it doesn't seem that easy to find. Maybe that's where I take comfort - it isn't easy to find. And it's not just difficult to find for me. Everyone is searching for this 'home', this place where they are understood. Time is not a factor in this search - people are the factor. Who is willing to be understanding, and am I willing to become understood? If this doesn't happen, home is nonexistent. It becomes a fantasy and a dream we wish would come true.

Believe it or not, I think I've found home for now... Home is in the love of friends and their listening ears. Home is in the knowing that people are nearby if I need them, and are willing to share my hurts, my tears, my disappointments, and my shortcomings. I know that I have found home when a friend, a laugh, and a hug is only one door away.

I'm beginning to realize how fluid a concept home is. I've known for too long that home cannot be forced into a box or a checklist of requirements. Home can only be what you make of it, and what you let it become. It's interesting how trying to transform something can often lead to your transformation instead. For now, home is still in Niger. That doesn't mean that Biola isn't becoming home... but my heart still wishes I was in the heat of the desert instead of the smog of the city. I love Biola, and I have never felt so at 'home' anywhere in the US before. To all my friends here, thank you with all my heart. You've created a home I didn't know was possible.

500. That's how many days until I go back to Niger... we'll see how many days before I go home...